Empowering Voices - Meet Samiksha Nair

Welcome back to the next interview in the Empowering Voices series that gives an in-depth look into lived experience of Indian speaking autistics. Today, we meet a charming young woman - Samiksha Nair. Her love for music reminded me of this poem by Jbizzy.   

                  Music travels all around my body

Now I can say it's living right through me.

Listening to music puts me in a good mood;

It makes me want to stand up and start to groove.

Music can make me forget all of my pain.

It brings out the sun when I can only see the rain.

I put on my headphones and play all of my songs.

I could listen to it all day long.

Music takes me to another place,

Higher than the sky and far away from the space.

There's nothing to compare to it in the whole world.

It wouldn't even be better than my favorite girl.

Music can teach you many lessons,

Like stand up for your rights and all the good reasons.

I know there are people who think the same way

Because they know music lives in us every day.

                                        Poem By Jbizzy 

                      

                      Welcome to My World

1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.

I am Samiksha Nair, a 22 year old.I have Autism.

2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us. 

My hobbies are watching movies( especially starring Leonardo Di Caprio and recently the Dark Knight trilogy),singing, dancing and painting.

Listening to music helps me relax. Infact when I was studying for my Grade 12 exams I would listen to music on my headset and study.

I have recently discovered new interests - painting and dancing . Both help me relax.

3Q) How do you cope when you’re having a bad day..

I watch scenes from my favourite movies. I also carry pictures of my favourite stars with me.This makes me feel they are there with me.

I also talk to my close friends and my mom when I have a bad day.This helps me.

I also self talk. This helps me to cope with my feelings.

4Q) What are glimmers in your life? (Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy - fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill)

I enjoy festivals and social gatherings with my family and friends and look forward to it.

Spending time with my friends at the Center and our funny talks.

I chant daily and that helps me stay happy and calm and grateful.

Learning new things brings joy. Eg The recent Graphics course at my center.

5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic? If you’re a late diagnosed autistic, please write about life before diagnosis and how it changed once you knew you’re autistic.

I can’t really remember but I think it was when I entered my teens. I faced many challenges in school, faced bullying,had behaviour issues.

My anxiety increased during this time and I had difficulty coping.

            Education and Workplace Experiences

1Q) What are your experiences in school/college… What challenges do you face..

Academics was a huge challenge for me, especially Maths.I couldn’t cope with it and shifted many schools due to this. Finally it was in a Special school that had empathetic qualified teachers that I blossomed and successfully completed Grade 10.

Grade 12 I did through Home schooling. I had very good teachers who not only taught me the subject but made it fun too.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges..

Any challenges I face I talk to my mom, some of my teachers and my friends who understand me. Together we have been able to find solution to these challenges.

3Q) What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive in this scenario?

If teachers were more kind and understanding it would have helped reduce my stress and anxiety and then I can handle the situation better. I had some teachers who were hard on me and even punished me.It made my school experience stressful.

                Sensory Challenges

1Q) Please share your sensory world with us. 

Loud noises like fire crackers scare me.My ears hurt a lot. Diwali night is a nightmare.

People shouting and fighting also scares me. I start panicking.

2Q) How does it affect your daily life..

 I go into a panic mode and feel overwhelmed.  It spills on to the rest of the day and I am unable to focus on tasks.

3Q) What accommodations, physical or changes in the mind-set of people around you would help you thrive?

If people stop bursting crackers it would really help.

Also if people are mindful to not shout and scream in Public places it would be good.

          Communication Challenges

1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions..

I tend to talk more about my favourite movies and characters and all people may not like it since it is not of their interest.

I cannot do typical peer talk like girls my age so I am left out of their groups.

I am more comfortable with younger children and Senior citizens who like talking to me.

2Q) How do you cope with this challenge..

I have started to ask people about their interests.I have stopped talking in between a conversation and wait for people to finish what they are talking.This is helping me interact better.

3Q) What accommodations would help you thrive..

Sometimes elders ask me not to keep talking about the same thing again and again.

It would help if they understand this is my way of communicating and coping too and let me be as I am.

                  Relationships

1Q) What do you look for in your relationships? ( friends/family/colleagues/partners)

What challenges have you faced in your relationships..

I look for kindness and understanding and people with similar interests as me.

Some people are impatient and not understanding of the challenges I face.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I listen to music to calm down.I talk to my mom and express what I feel.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive..

If they could let me be me and not try to change me.

                 Bullying

1Q) Have you faced bullying in school/college/workplace? Please share a few details..

Yes, during school days. In my society where I lived children made fun of me, teased me,took my comfort things to upset me and see my meltdowns.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges..

I talked to my mom and she spoke to some of the kids . Later on I as grew up I stood up for myself and didn’t let the bullies bother me.I ignored them.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Awareness about Autism and the challenges it brings about would help people be more understanding and refrain from such behaviour.

         Executive Functioning Challenges

1Q) What executive functioning challenges ( adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organising) have you faced and how does it affect your life..

I face challenges in Planning, self-control and organising.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges..

By enhancing my skills.I have been learning Daily Living Skills and Advance Functional Skills which has helped.

                   Social life

1Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life..

Peer friendships have been a challenge.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges..

I have some close friends who are older to me and understand me.I cherish these friendships.

             Comorbidities

1Q) Please do share about what comorbidities have you faced..

I have faced lots of anxiety issues which has led to meltdowns, obsessions which are probably a coping mechanism and behavioural issues.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges..

By carrying my comfort along with me.

Listening to music after a stressful day.

Painting,dancing,meeting friends , chatting with friends all help.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Not to be too demanding and be patient.

          Towards a better tomorrow

1Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing environment at home..

Be kind and understanding of their challenges.Don’t pressurize for academic achievements.

Find out what they like,focus on their strengths rather than weaknesses and motivate them to work towards their goal.

Be loving and compassionate and do not discuss them in front of others.Respect them.

2Q) Please share your message to therapists on how they can include neurodiversity affirming practices in their approach..

Don’t be hard on the children. Every child is different. Understand the child and then do what works best for them.

Understand the child’s learning methods and then work.

Be very patient.

3Q) Please share your thoughts on how we can work towards an inclusive and neurodiversity friendly society..

During social activities like festivals and other functions make everyone feel welcome. Let the neurodiverse be contributing members of the society. Don’t leave them out.

Don’t bully or make fun of them.

Don’t use the tag ‘Special needs’..that leads to segregation.

           Thank you dear Samiksha for sharing your journey and insights with us. God bless you, and may all your dreams come true!

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.