Talking Fingers - Meet Tanya Joseph

    Dear friends, I am sure meeting the co-author families has been a wonderful experience for you as it has been for me. This is the last interview in the Talking Fingers Vol.2 series and we meet Tanya and her parents - Sini and Joseph Abraham and her amazing sister, Sarah. Let's start by chatting with the parents. 

 1. Please share your autism journey with us..

Tanya was about two and half when she was diagnosed. We were in Mumbai at that point of time.. We started with speech and occupational therapy. Meanwhile explored many other options as in homeo, ayurveda, acupuncture.. Nothing gave a solution that we desperately were looking for. It was becoming difficult to manage so we landed up in ICCONS, Shornnur. Tanya and her father spent about an year there undergoing therapies but we didn't see any desired improvement. In fact we think she developed separation anxiety which persists till date. From there we moved to Kolencherry medical college where they had an early development centre where Tanya did well in all activities other than speech. By five yrs of age she outgrew EDC and we put her in Govt UP school. They allowed me to be with her in the class. Meanwhile we discovered that she could write with support. But covid disrupted her schooling. She is in 8th std now. 

                                      

2. How did you develop communication skills in Tanya.

When Tanya was around 6yrs old we discovered she could write with holding my hand.. By then we realised she is non verbal. With practice she became better at writing.. She learns by observation. So her school stint was a big help in bringing about changes in all that she does. 

3. Please share your advice for other parents..

Have faith in your child and yourself. They are capable of more than what you think. Have patience and give them time. You know your child best and what works for her. Of all the people whom you will come across there will be very few who will not have an opinion on how you should handle your child and her needs. So be strong in shielding and respecting your child.

              Now let's meet the star of the interview - Tanya!

                                          

1. How old are you, Tanya..

I am 14 yrs old

2. Please tell us about your school..

I don't go to school now as my mother is not well

3. What are your favourite subjects/topics.

English and maths

4. Please tell us about your hobbies. 

I watch baking videos

5. Do you enjoy going on vacations, please tell us about your recent or favourite vacation..

We went to our native place

6. What is your preferred mode of communication - writing/typing. 

Writing

7. How was the experience of being a co-author in Talking Fingers book..

Yes. I enjoyed it.

         The interview will be incomplete without meeting Sarah, Tanya's elder sister, friend and guide. 

                                                          

1. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, what are you studying and do share your hobbies..

 Hi! My name is Sarah Joseph. I am an ordinary 18 year old that you would find anywhere, who has her own teenage issues. I'm Tanya's elder sister by 3 years and 8 months. I just completed my 12th.  I’m  a teenager with a passion for many things that I'm not sure about. Whether I’m diving into the latest video games, jamming out to my favorite tunes, or exploring the great outdoors, I’m always up for an adventure. School keeps me busy, but I thrive on challenges .

I love hanging out with friends, whether it's grabbing a bite to eat or just chilling and chatting about life. I'm a bit of a dreamer, always imagining what the world holds for me. I always have those small doubts regarding this world and it's people in my mind which never cease to exist.

Oh, and did I mention my love for Korean and Japanese culture? Kdrama, Kpop, Manga, Anime etc... It’s my little slice of happiness in this crazy world. So yeah, that’s me in a nutshell – just a teenager trying to navigate life .

2. How was the experience of growing up with Tanya, please share your thoughts..

Growing up with my nonverbal autistic sister in a society that often struggled to understand and accept neurodiversity presented its own unique set of challenges. We encountered ignorance, prejudice, and discrimination on multiple fronts, from schoolyard taunts to well-meaning but hurtful remarks from strangers.

One of the most difficult aspects was witnessing the isolation and exclusion my sister faced from her peers. It broke my heart to see her excluded from social gatherings, overlooked for opportunities, and treated differently simply because of her differences.

As her sibling, I often found myself advocating fiercely on her behalf, challenging misconceptions, and fighting for her right to be seen, heard, and included. It was exhausting at times, but I knew that standing up for her was not just important – it was essential.

Despite the challenges, growing up in a non-accepting society also taught me resilience, empathy, and the power of solidarity. It brought our family closer together as we rallied around my sister, offering unwavering support and love in the face of adversity.

And amidst the darkness, there were moments of light – small victories, acts of kindness, and glimmers of understanding that reminded me that change was possible, even in the most unlikely of places.

Ultimately, growing up with my nonverbal autistic sister in a non-accepting society taught me the importance of perseverance, compassion, and the transformative power of love. And though the journey was far from easy, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

 She's may be the naughtiest person to me, the moody, never settling, prideful, parents' pet ..... but is also and forever my partner in crime, my confidante and best friend rolled into one. My grandmother used to call her "നിശബ്ദ മാലാഖ" or "silent angel" but i disagree . She may be silent but not thoughtless. she does not accept what she is given. She walks on her own choices. Her own interest ,likes, dislikes and thoughts. Society might consider her weak and pity her but she is strong , resilient and the most intelligent kid i have seen for her age. She observes everything , sees everything ,hears everything even though it might look like she is not concentrating. She makes her own opinion and does not rely on head things. She is the best sister I could ever hope for.

3. Your advice for other siblings please..

 Growing up with a nonverbal autistic sister in a society that struggles to accept neurodiversity was undoubtedly challenging, but it also provided me with invaluable lessons and insights. Here's some advice I'd offer to other siblings in similar situations:

1.Take the time to learn about autism and neurodiversity. Understanding your sibling's condition and the challenges she faces will not only help you support her better but also enable you to advocate effectively on her behalf.

2.  Stand up for your sibling and educate others about autism. Challenge misconceptions, confront discrimination, and advocate for inclusion and acceptance in your community.

3. Celebrate your sibling's unique strengths, talents, and perspectives. Recognize that neurodiversity is a natural part of the human experience and that differences should be celebrated rather than stigmatized.

4.  Surround yourself with understanding and supportive friends, family members, and allies who can offer encouragement, advice, and solidarity during challenging times.

5.  Put yourself in your sibling's shoes and strive to understand her experiences, emotions, and needs. Empathy is a powerful tool for building connection and fostering understanding.

6.  Remember to prioritize your own well-being and self-care. Growing up with a nonverbal autistic sister can be emotionally draining at times, so make sure to carve out time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

7. Celebrate your sister's achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Every milestone, whether it's learning a new skill or overcoming a challenge, is worth celebrating and acknowledging.

8. Don't hesitate to seek support from therapists, support groups, or other resources available to you. Talking to others who understand what you're going through can provide validation, comfort, and valuable insights.

Above all, remember that you are not alone. There are countless siblings out there who share similar experiences, and together, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and accepting society for individuals of all abilities.

              Blessed with an awesome family and great support, I am sure Tanya will continue to shine. God bless you dear Tanya and Sarah. 

To read the thoughts of our sixteen non-speaking Autistic self advocates, do purchase our book. It is available as both paperback and kindle edition in all Amazon stores worldwide HERE

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.