Empowering Voices - Meet Vishal Anand

          In the fourth interview of the Empowering Voices series, we meet  - Vishal Anand, an autistic savant and spiritual young man who shares his lived experience and insights with us. This poem from Gitanjali by Rabindranath Tagore is the best way to summarize my thoughts on Vishal's journey..

"The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a star and planet.

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself, and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter simplicity of a tune.

The traveller has to knock at every alien door to come to his own, and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said, “Here art thou!”

The question and the cry, “Oh, where”‘ melt into tears of a thousand streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance “I am!”

                               

                                  Welcome to My World

1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.

 Ans: I am Vishal Anand. I see myself as simple and humble boy with ASD as notable tag added as a plight of availing day to day trials in my life. I am pious in my openness of thoughts and of feelings.

 2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us. 

Ans: I see the yonder in open sky, give attention to inviting rising electric havoc in old battered transformers, cycling. Am not a hobbyist but a lobbyist. 

3Q) How do you cope when you’re having a bad day?

Ans: I am done with silence so I shout and apply sinful fiery anger in posing object threats. Gloom becomes boom in action until the fire reduces its heat. 

4Q) What are glimmers in your life? (Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy - fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill)

Ans: Hopping and frantic running, putting shy smile in my dozed face, divulge in good food something crisp and gourmet spicy. Food is my haven Annapoorani. 

5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic? 

 Ans: Furore started from emerging early childhood, 4 years. ADHD, ASD LD. This is the pattern of my diagnosis. Before autism, was revelling on good play with mud and pots, after with blocks and dots. Clay replaced with plastic and wood. Doing things without perfection turned into planned output only. Follow my heart was before follow my brain was after. 

                            Education and Workplace Experiences

1Q) What are your experiences in school/college... What challenges do you face? 

Ans: I don’t face any cup of tea experience in my college but it is also not open house pity. I don the hat of introvert boy and dodge my condition. I seek sincere appreciation from lecturers and masters. I simply omit my old load of special child onus and hold on to the olive leaf of good student in books. My exams are kind of a coalition between scribe and my moods to recite the answers. Lots of faces, noises and timeless free time are my lingering moment of reality. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

Ans: Understand my lottery to normal college grad going mission, be jinxed on noiseless presence, and go into frantic panting when called out in public. I rot in hell in my brain with void sober thoughts that go high in homely suppertime serials. My plate of intellect is long dragged to entertainment than unleashing physics marvels in operating products like lighting and power. I tip them off as my fate and move on. 

3Q) What accommodations (physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive in this scenario?

Ans: Loud noises can be controlled by finding soundproof rooms in every place. Giving us prior information should endure our anxiety. Hobbies kindled in real time experiences voice out my other end of spectrum- savant skills. Monitoring my task finds me highly pensive in mood. 

                                    Sensory Challenges

1Q) Please share your sensory world with us. 

Ans: I follow noise in my vicinity, I fear noise loud and shrill, and umpteen filmy outing like lights lock my vision. 

2Q) How does it affect your daily life?

Ans: Loner I am as I can’t handle people in close chamber. I prefer to be liked for my mindful talent in accessing creative presence of mind moving from photography, yonder blogs and light mystery in colours embracing physics.. 

3Q) What accommodations (physical or changes in the mind- set of people) around you would help you thrive?

Ans: Mere interest in my work than my words. Unlock my anxiety with warm smile, giving plain words sorting out metaphors and similes. 

                            Communication Challenges

1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions? 

Ans: None of them understand our voice of cry in communication. Honing our food for thought in something like oppression of imprisoned self-talk, homely reading in joining words, phonics, and our mind is moving on intense confusion only. Looking upon these factors, new phonics and new language pedagogy is needed in the process. I mingle with people bringing my understanding to intonation based expressions sans flat tone questions. I usually try to respond in intruding common phrases only liking yes or no comments. My vocabulary is conditioned to regular road to talks and ebb away bright linguistic, long agonising or entertaining stories. I mostly think in my mind as tool rod in fire that moulds into shape based on the mold. My kind of communication is based in Englishman language literacy and bit of hindi/ sanskrit modes in writing. Like a keyboard and monitor I turn out only chalet of letters joined as enticing solitary literature. 

2Q) What accommodations would help you thrive?

Ans: Omniscient code of communication is semantics. Figures, images and symbols. Avoid books in words have audio visual roosters.

                               Relationships

1Q) What do you look for in your relationships? What challenges have you faced in your relationships?

Ans: How to be soothing in tone, how to rise to the occasion on empathy, giving tiny regularity in smiles, converse in person are my punitive challenges. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

Ans: I shun myself away in lonely corner, bolt my lips with big silence, untie my autism with echolalia. Once in Pluto, I hug or openly shake hands. 

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mind-set of people around you would help you thrive?

Ans: They need to usher time in listening to my words with word phrases in questions. Please avoid long ending sentences. 

 

                                 Bullying

1Q) Have you faced bullying in school/college/workplace? Please share a few details

Ans: I have been bullied many times. Kinder garden in school by your own teacher, by helpers there. In street by ninja boys, in home by my grandfather, in college openly physically abusing me bungee jumping my body on the floor, making lewd comments about my jibes on embracing girlish voice not yet broken. Indeed. Only now I am ferrying on adolescence boat in my few dips like body boots in stamina. Unleashing pheromones, kindling self-esteem. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

Ans: I never tell it out. I don’t bother much. I flee and flight in mode. 

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Ans: Mockery in words injures much. Hence just pick gestures that are omitted by us like signaling or whispering. Enormous cues other than stinging words please.

                             Masking

1Q) Have you ever had to mask to look neurotypical? Please share your experiences..

Ans: yes, everyday I do in college. I unmask entirely at home in full. 

2Q) What challenges have you faced because of masking?

Ans: It unleashes anxiety of picking up lots of curiosity in people about aloof attitude. 

3Q) When did you decide to unmask and how was the experience?

Ans: I nonetheless wear mask entering society and undo it in privacy with closed ones. 

4Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Ans: Monitoring our presence must be halted with managing and coping for our comfort in food beverages and gadgets. 

                         Executive Functioning Challenges

1Q) What executive functioning challenges ( adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self control, working memory, time management, and organising) have you faced and how does it affect your life?

Ans: Joy of spending money in our space a dream because of poor maths and initiating voice of demand. Low working memory makes it tough to manage time and things. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

Ans: Binge on my ill nibbling annoying questions only to surpass the answering in return. Logs in numbers I can never handle as numbers in calculation. 

3Q) What accommodations  would help you thrive?

Ans: Just give instructions so short and cited on good motivation. Please put task in pictures and tools of symbols. A bout of lost time is avoided with way of doing it quick in just few steps.

                                 Social life

Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life?

Ans: Just entered. Too early to share. I stay put in place simply stoned in silence. 

                         Comorbidities

1Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

Ans: No. showtime is OCD and anxiety due to ASD. Joy of reading and writing is lost in LD. Left plausible is lots of minute mood swing shifts. 

2Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Ans: It is my load I have to carry not in other’s cart.

                 Towards a better tomorrow

1Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing Environment at home..

 Ans: Involve in opening their minds to all the senses in full. Home is to just move in peace. So avoid kilos of moments in therapy. Use water, and sand in play. Air to fly kites and balloons. Play enormous types of wind instruments like organ, trumpet flute, bold mix of drums, mild Jala Taranga. Join in bio human space of moving trees, long streams, and rains. 

2Q) Please share your message to therapists on how they can include neurodiversity affirming Practices in their approach.. 

Ans: Input open thoughts as team play task. Mime tasks in bringing our trust. Don’t test us instead play to see magic. Trust is in non-judgemental affable smiles not matron approach. 

3Q) Please share your thoughts on how we can work towards an inclusive and neurodiversity friendly society..

 Ans: In the vast, fine space each animal has its own part to play. Till our place is donned extend support. Only time decides its purpose. Hence, lonely planet becomes discovery until it fixates on The Earth, isn’t it?

Thank you so much for this long panoramic view interview.

               

                God bless you dear Vishal, may all your dreams come true! 

I would love to carry forward this series as long as possible and share the insightful journeys of Indian speaking autistics. Please reach out if would like to come forward and share your journey and guide parents and therapists. My email - parentingautismindia@gmail.com

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.

Empowering Voices - Meet Asha Sreedhar

 

    Dear reader, today I am back with the third interview in the Empowering Voices series that features the lived experiences of Indian speaking autistics. Our guest of honour today is Ms. Asha Sreedhar, who has lived in many countries and shares her wealth of experience with us. Reading her journey and the insights reminds me of the poem - Smile by Cloudnine Fairmane

"In life's vast tapestry, where shadows loom,

Amidst the storm, within the gloom,

There lies a beacon, small yet bright,

A glimmer of hope, a guiding light.

It's found within, deep in your soul,

A radiant warmth, making you whole.

A simple curve, upon your face,

Can brighten any somber place.

In moments of joy, let it shine,

Like the sun's rays, divine and fine.

Let it dance upon your lips so true,

A testament to all that you've been through."

                                                   

 

Welcome to My World

1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.

My name is Asha Sreedhar and I have autism spectrum disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. I am currently working at SAP Labs India Pvt. Ltd. as a quality associate and this will be my 9th year with the company. 

2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us.

My hobbies are reading, writing, listening to music, playing computer games like Scrabble, and watching movies which help me with relaxing after work. My interests/passions are animals, pets, wildlife, photography, traveling and tourism, volunteer work, reading different novels, writing, and exploring different cuisines on weekends.

3Q) How do you cope when you’re having a bad day?

When I am having a bad day, I cope by listening to soothing music, watch movies, and TV shows. 

4Q) What are glimmers in your life? (Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy - fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill)

The glimmers in my life are when people read my autism blogs, stories, posts, and listen to my speeches, panel discussions, and podcast. They provide good feedback mentioning that my speeches are inspirational and provide hope for everyone. 

5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic?

I realized that I was autistic when I was 4 years old in a pre-school in Africa when I was outside playing with the farm animals and trying to catch butterflies in the garden and not learning with other children in the classroom. She mentioned to my parents that something was wrong with me but couldn’t find out what was the problem. My parents took me to South Africa to meet with different doctors and specialists but they also couldn’t find out the problem either as autism wasn’t known or famous back then during that time period. They mentioned that it was probably dyslexia and lack of motor skills. When I moved to US at age 9, I received the official diagnosis that I have autism spectrum disorder and Asperger’s Syndrome. The school staff in US provided me with speech therapy sessions and special education services for me until 6th grade. I used to feel that I was completely different from the normal individuals as I displayed different interests and passions, dressed up differently in only what I was comfortable wearing everyday, and didn’t participate in some of the activities. 

 

                          Education and Workplace Experiences

1Q) What are your experiences in school/college and workplace… What challenges do you face?

In Africa, I attended a British Private School where my experiences were good because the school staff and students were accepting, friendly, helpful, inclusive, encouraging, and supportive of me despite my autism disability. They used to encourage me to participate in a lot of extracurricular activities from sports to arts and compete as well. The challenge which I faced was the education which was very difficult for me.

In US, I attended an American Public School for the rest of my education with normal individuals where it was good and also hard at the same time. The school staff went out of the way to help me with my autism disability by providing me speech therapy sessions and special education services until 6th grade. The teachers were very encouraging and supporting of me. The challenges which I faced were the students who used to bully, tease, taunt, and exclude me from all the activities, difficulty with some of the subjects, and learning to drive a car.

I attended a 2-year local community college near my house in US where my experiences were enjoyable but also difficult at the same time. My professors were very accepting, friendly, helpful, encouraging, and supporting. I got inducted into the honor society due to my good grades and commitment to the college where I participated in a lot of community service volunteer work activities. The challenges I faced were making friends with the students as I was different and difficulty with studying some of the subjects. 

In US, after I graduated from the local community college with a 2-year degree and highest honors, I worked a few jobs related to my major but my biggest challenge was sustaining employment as those occupations required intense multi-tasking and customer service interaction.

In India, I attended the Autism at Work Training Program at EnAble India where I was only girl with 10 boys. My challenge in the beginning was not being able to socialize with them as I was very shy and scared of them.

I am now working at SAP Labs India Pvt. Ltd. as a quality associate where I am having a very good experience and always enjoy my job. The workplace colleagues are very amiable, accepting, helpful, embracing, inclusive, accommodating, encouraging, and supportive of me. The challenges which I face are heavy workload, tight deadlines, and multi-tasking. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

In Africa, whenever I struggled with the education, my parents and sister used to try and help me their level best by teaching the subjects. 

In US, whenever I used to struggle with some of the subjects in school, I used to attend tutoring services with the teachers. For the issue with students in school, I used to ignore them and report them to the principal if the bullying got out of control. For the driving challenge, my parents used to make me practice in the neighborhood and drive around to different places whenever we were going out. After that, I passed my driver’s test and got the licence with confidence. In college, I used to focus on my academics as I wasn’t comfortable mixing with the students and used to make use of the tutoring services with the professors and college staff whenever I struggled with some of the subjects.

In US, one of the managers in the job observed me and discovered my challenges of multi-tasking and customer service interaction. She did some research and persuaded me to pursue a career in the IT Sector.

In India, I managed to cope with my challenges at EnAble India by opening up and communicating with the boys after getting comfortable with them. After joining SAP Labs India Pvt. Ltd., the workplace colleagues got educated about my autism disability with the EnAble India staff and then I started communicating with them.

3Q) What accommodations (physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive in this scenario?

The accommodations which would help me thrive in this current scenario where I am at currently would be acceptance, appreciation, embracement, encouragement, support, understanding, helpfulness, accommodation, and creating awareness.

                            Sensory Challenges

1Q) Please share your sensory world with us.

I am very sensitive to loud sounds (thunder, explosions, loud music, and loud phone ringtones), weather (hot and cold temperatures), terrible odors, spicy food, and bright lights. Interoception works normally for me so I don’t face challenges with it.

2Q) How does it affect your daily life?

My sensory world affects my daily life by helping me to be alert and avoid entering into environments with those things. When I am ordering food at a restaurant, I make sure to check the spiciness level of the food items. 

3Q) What accommodations around you would help you thrive?

For loud sounds, I always close my ears until the sound eases down. For terrible odours, I cover my nose with a mask or scarf until I move away from them. When I go out to eat, I inform the staff that the food should not be spicy when ordering and before they start preparing it.

                          Communication Challenges

1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions?

My communication style is that I only speak English with an accent and it affects my daily interactions by opening up whenever I have problems or issues and speaking up whenever I need help or assistance.

2Q) How do you cope with this challenge?

I cope with this challenge by trying to speak slowly and pronounce the words clearly. If the co-workers can’t understand, I spell it out on a paper or ask them to spell it out on the notepad so that they know the word. When others speak fast, I ask them to slow down so that I can understand what they are saying and to repeat the words clearly if pronounced differently.

3Q) What accommodations (physical or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive?

Everyone should be aware, alert, listen, and understand the communication around others when they are trying to communicate or speak. 

                                     Relationships

1Q) What do you look for in your relationships? (friends/family/colleagues/partners)

What challenges have you faced in your relationships?

I look for the following characteristics in my relationships with my family/friends/colleagues such as acceptance, accommodation, assistance, embrace, encouragement, support, and understanding.

The challenges which I have faced in my relationships with friends and colleagues are not being able to maintain friendships, displaying different interests/passions from them, and not mixing with them. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

After moving to India, I have developed a lot of relationships with friends and colleagues which makes me feel good and happy to communicate openly with them as they are understanding and accepting.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive?

First of all, the family, friends, colleagues, and partners must learn to accept everyone as they are (whether they are disabled or have some other problem) and they must understand them. Secondly, they must support by including and providing assistance whenever they need help. Lastly, they must not tease or hurt anyone’s feelings.

                                     Bullying

1Q) Have you faced bullying in school/college/workplace?

Yes. I have faced bullying in the schools. I didn’t face bullying in the college and workplaces. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I used to report the students to the principal and teachers if the bullying got out of control or extreme.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

If there are strict rules and regulations about bullying with harsh punishments, then everyone would be scared of doing it and it would get reduced with awareness. There must also be awareness and campaigns created to stop bullying.

                                     Masking

1Q) Have you ever had to mask to look neurotypical? Please share your experiences..

Yes. I had to mask to look neurotypical when I was studying in school, college, and working in the workplaces. But some individuals found out that I had some problem because of the way I used to communicate but they didn’t ask any questions. They used to keep silent. 

2Q) What challenges have you faced because of masking?

The challenges I faced because of masking were not able to interact with the normal individuals and not being to go out with friends.

3Q) When did you decide to unmask and how was the experience?

I decided to unmask when I joined EnAble India for my Autism at Work Training Program and started working at SAP Labs India Pvt. Ltd. It was a good experience as there were some colleagues who understood what was autism and there were others who didn’t know about it and wanted to learn more about it.

4Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Everyone should unmask their disability or problem now as there is awareness and understanding getting created about it. After it gets unmasked, everyone should learn to accept, accommodate, adjust, include, encourage, and support those type of individuals. 

       

                             Executive Functioning Challenges

1Q) What executive functioning challenges (adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organising) have you faced and how does it affect your life? 

When I was in school, I got taught planning, time management, organization skills, etc.

It affected my life by teaching me to plan the day with a time chart, note down as much as possible as I used to tend to forget, and keep everything like papers, notes, etc. organized as much as possible. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I cope with these challenges today by making sure that I check what tasks are being assigned to me and try to finish everything by deadlines. 

3Q) What accommodations would help you thrive?

The individuals must observe in school and workplaces on how others study and work and learn from them and try to apply the same skills in order to make life easy and not challenging.

                                 Social life

1Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life?

I was very shy and couldn’t understand other people when they were talking about different topics. 

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I managed to cope with the challenge by staying far away from the normal individuals and kept to myself. I only communicated and talked when it was necessary. I used to talk to other individuals with autism who understood me and interacted with me.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive?

When there is a social life, everyone should learn to accept, accommodate, adjust, and be considerate and inclusive of other individuals regardless whether they are same or different from others. No one should get left out and excluded.

                               Comorbidities

1Q) Please write about comorbidities you faced?

I had a few physical health issues but they got taken care of by the hospital.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I followed instructions from the doctors and took medications to alleviate the problems.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Everyone should be alert and aware of the health problems and see a doctor when they are experiencing problems as it could lead to worse issues. They must express their food restrictions when going out and eating at a restaurant.

                             Towards a better tomorrow

1Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing environment at home.

My message to the parents is that they must accept that their child is autistic. They must spend time researching, reading, and understanding about it. They must show care for the child as they come first in their life and focus on their school life as education is key to the future. They must talk to the children who are outside playing in the daytime or evening hours and ask them to accommodate their child with autism and let them play with them during the playtime. The parents must observe their child all the time and help the child when they are facing problems. They must also support and encourage them.

2Q) Please share your message to therapists on how they can include neurodiversity affirming practices in their approach.

The therapists should first understand how many disabilities the child has, read and learn about those disabilities. They must check whether the disabilities are mild or severe and decide which types of therapies are needed as every child is different and not the same. They must provide the therapies everyday so that the child will improve and until they become better and gain confidence. They must hold the sessions in a comfortable room and take breaks in the middle and talk casually with the child on their favorite topics/interests. They must make the therapy sessions interesting with different styles of learning with different games and activities so that the child will show interest and look forward to attending the sessions everyday.

3Q) Please share your thoughts on how we can work towards an inclusive and neurodiversity friendly society.

The world should develop a positive attitude to learn about neurodiversity as everyone is different. Everyone should accept, accommodate, adjust, embrace, encourage, support, and make the environment inclusive by not leaving anyone out. We must not tease or hurt anyone’s feelings.

                  

I hope reading this interview has been as insightful and uplifting  for you as it was for me. God bless you dear Asha, may all your dreams come true!

I would love to carry forward this series as long as possible and share the insightful journeys of Indian speaking autistics. Please reach out if would like to come forward and share your journey and guide parents and therapists. My email - parentingautismindia@gmail.com

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.

Empowering Voices - Meet Viraj Bhat

                      

                                             

                       This is the second interview of the widely read Empowering Voices series, that features the lived experiences of Indian speaking autistics as they share their journey in detail, the challenges they faced and overcome.  Today, we meet, Viraj Bhat, a 36 year old, who works in a reputed software company. These words come to mind as I got to know him over the past few weeks:

                 " I'm stronger because I had to be

                    I'm happier because I have learned what matters

                    I stand taller because I am a survivor "

Welcome to My World

1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.

I'm Viraj Bhat, born in 1988. I was born and brought up in Mumbai, and I did my schooling too in Mumbai. I work in SAP Labs, which is a software company, in Bengaluru. I was diagnosed as a person with dyslexia and learning disability and later as a person with autism.

2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us.

My interests, hobbies and passions are almost never the same. They change with time. Since my childhood my only consistent hobby has been gaining general knowledge - be it from books, online encyclopedias or from video-sharing sites. In my youth my desire was to learn programming and penetration testing, but this desire didn't materialise as I didn't have the learning capacity, time or resources to do so. At one point of time, I had the intense desire to become a full-time investor because I've always wanted to be self-employed but unfortunately, I'm not financially literate. Unfortunately, since the 2020 Lockdown I have been addicted to social media and that too not in any constructive way. I have always been a music lover.

3Q) How do you cope when you're having a bad day?

I overthink about any incident and about person that made me angry and while I do that I roam around in my house. I sometimes also listen to music.

4Q) What are glimmers in your life? (Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy - fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill)

I feel happy every time I listen to my music playlist. It also relieves me from stress and anxiety even though just for the time I'm listening to it. I feel very happy at the time I get to leave the office and every time weekends arrive.

5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic? If you’re a late diagnosed autistic, please write about life before diagnosis and how it changed once you knew you're autistic.

I found out I'm a person with autism sometime in 2005 or 2006, when I was 17 or 18 years old. Even before the diagnosis I was aware I'm different from other children/people. After finding out my condition, I felt relieved because there was some name to my state of being.

Education and Workplace Experiences

1Q) What are your experiences in school/college and workplace … What challenges do you face?

My experience in schools (both normal school and special school) had been unpleasant. I was required to rote-learn subjects - a learning method I'm not at all okay with. From the behaviour and their teaching methods, it was clear that most (not all) of my teachers lacked professionalism. They also were often overly strict. Under their guidance I never felt like learning in school. It was clear that they worked in the school not with the intention to teach but only for the salary. Most of my schoolmates and classmates weren't any better. In my school days I might have been okay with their association, but looking back now, I realise that intellectually and morally they were backward. (I'm not speaking of their social or economic background. I have no idea about their social or economic background and nor do I care.)

In the special school, where I finished 11th and 12th through NIOS, I came across many students who were intellectually disabled, some of whom were really weird and some even ill-behaved. I don't deny I was one such student. Some teachers showed unprofessional behaviour and didn't know how to behave. The reasons I benefitted from this school were that the teachers gave me personal space and were not so dominating, and that the curriculum was slightly more interesting. And also because in NIOS, if a student fails in a subject, he/she still gets promoted to higher grade while having to re-give the test for that subject.

For 2 years, due to pressure from my mother, I unsuccessfully attempted to complete First Year Bachelor of Arts (FYBA). Her argument was that a person who is just 12th Pass would not get enough salary from any workplace. The teachers from that college were aware of my learning disability and had been supportive of me and wanted me to succeed even when they found out I did not want to attend the examinations, which I didn't attend any way.

My first and very short-lived career was that of a manual worker. Working as one, that too in a slum area, I understood that I wasn't made for that kind of work. The only reason I worked there was that my mother insisted me on doing some work or the other and should never stay idle. Those were some of the worst years of my life. I didn't officially quit that job but took leaves for many days until my principal from the special school, who cared for my career, requested me to work as an unpaid data entry clerk for work experience. I admit I did acquire work experience from this job. As my unofficial employer, the princial noticed that I was very unpunctual and occasionally she expressed her dissatisfaction with that and with my overall work performance.

To get hired by the software company I had to first get trained and assessed by some organisation that trains people with disabilities (in my case, autism). Being trained alongside other autistic candidates I found out that not all autistic people are the same and there are certain characteristics of autistic people that not just neurotypical people but even other autistic people dislike, and that autistic people do not necessarily get along well even amongst themselves.

After getting hired by some department of my company, I found out that the trainer from the training organisation didn't do his/her best at assessing me. I am very good at English language, especially in written form. Instead of approaching the department that requires good language skills, they simply put me in a department that involved slightly critical tasks that I was not prepared to perform. My work performance had been slow but unsteady because I hadn't learnt any programming language. There had been times when I made critical mistakes. Eventually I was asked to leave the team but fortunately I got to stay in the department.

Most of my colleagues and mentors have been very well-behaved with me. The company I work for does not have any office politics, is one thing that I have observed. It is purely meritocratic.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I didn't face these challenges in any proper way, which is exactly why my school days and most of my working days were spent so miserably. At workplace I was very unpunctual and inefficient. Only after joining the software company did I start behaving more professionally.

3Q) What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive in this scenario?

Speaking of school years, all students (not just the learning disabled) should be allowed to learn only the subjects they are interested in and the subjects the students feel they will benefit from while earning money. Students should not be forced to attend classes if they feel like doing self-study at home. In fact there should be no minimum attendance for any student in any school or college. It is high time home-schooling got normalised and became mainstream. Governments and parents shouldn't assume that students would score better if they attended school and/or college. Parents should not force their children to attend tuitions or coaching classes. For my failure in my first attempt in 10th Grade board examination I hold the coaching class I studied in partly responsible.

What grade a student should be in should be decided by his/her learning capacity and not age. If their learning capacity is proven to be high enough, then they should be allowed to give board examinations at the earliest and be allowed to get into college/university at the earliest. In the era we're living in, earning money and filling the belly needs to be given higher priority than doing academics.

For organisations that train people for getting hired in MNCs I have a humble request - Please assess the trainees very carefully and make sure they don't end up in the wrong department, working there as misfits.

Sensory Challenges

1Q) Please share your sensory world with us...

It has often happened that I found people speaking on mike, music on loudspeakers or the sound of traffic unbearably loud while other people seemed absolutely fine with it. I have noticed that I am a cold-blooded person. I can perform any physical or mental task easily when the atmosphere is cold and dry. My performance degrades drastically when the atmosphere is warm/hot and/or humid. My workplace is air-conditioned and it has often happened that many of my office neighbours prefer the blinds closed. In such a situation I feel very dull and my work performance decreases as there is no sunlight.

2Q) How does it affect your daily life?

Most of my childhood and youth was spent in Mumbai, which is a city notorious for humidity and high temperature. I suspect it to have worsened my academic performance and my work performance when I used to do manual work there.

3Q)  What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people) around you would help you thrive?

For workplaces in hot and humid regions, air-conditioning is an absolute must if they want people like me to perform well or to remain sane. In air-conditioned workplaces, there should be enough sunlight.

Communication Challenges

1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions?

I struggle while communicating orally as I have a stuttering issue. I have a problem phrasing sentences while speaking even though I'm good at all languages that I need to use every day.

I struggle registering spoken words. When my office colleagues give me tasks they give knowledge transfer orally. At least earlier this used to happen and I never found this helpful.

I consider the condition of autism to be a curse for me. Being an autistic person, I'm a very straightforward person and I'm unable to behave tactfully and diplomatically, which also makes me not at all streetwise or worldly wise. I usually smile only when I mean it, which makes it difficult for me to be polite to others when they smile at me and I don't smile back.

2Q) How do you cope with this challenge?

I often ask my colleagues to explain tasks or assignments through email or through online chat. Regarding my offensively straightforward behaviour I haven't made any effort to do away with it.

3Q)  What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive?

Colleagues, at least those working with me, should have basic knowledge of autism so they are mentally prepared for, and have enough patience while, dealing or interacting with people like me.

Relationships

1Q) What do you look for in your relationships? ( friends/family/colleagues/partners)

What challenges have you faced in your relationships?

I seek respect and detachment in any relationship. Of course I should offer the same to them.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I don't make any endeavours to socialise with people as I'm a complete introvert with low Emotional Quotient.

3Q)  What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you would help you thrive?

They should feel at ease while interacting with me while also being respectful, and not behaving too casually. There should be certain amount of detachment. No matter how noble the intentions are, if someone tries to interfere in my life or tries to dominate me or chastises me, I will lose respect for them. At worse I will end up hating them to death.

Bullying

1Q) Have you faced bullying in school/college/workplace? Please share a few details

Yes, I have experienced bullying. In elementary school days to first half of high school days, some classmates used to gang up against me because I behaved differently and because they know I was defenseless and could be easily dominated.

In my former workplace in Mumbai, most of my co-workers were slum-dwellers. They were short-tempered and disrespectful with me because I was both unpunctual and because I was inefficient at my work. They used to use vulgar language even when not angry, which made me feel like never working there.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

I didn't deal with this in any proper way. However, they only way I could take revenge was to block most of my classmates and schoolmates on social media and never hear from them again. I don't like to associate or even interact with toxic people and people who don't know how to behave.

3Q)  What accommodations or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

Basic knowledge of autism is a must both in schools amongst both teachers and students and in workplace amongst both managers and colleagues and co-workers. Misconceptions about autism should be cleared, not just in schools and workplaces but even in housing societies where autistic people live.

Masking

Q) Have you ever had to mask to look neurotypical? Please share your experiences..

I had observed that anywhere I went I used to speak to less and gave very short answers. There have been situations where I tried to behave the way I thought neurotypicals behave. The results were in my opinion socially awkward.

Social life

Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life?

There are some situations where I like interacting with people and there are some where I don't. In some situations I used to speak too much with the intention to amuse people or to make an impression. In some, I spoke too less either out of anxiety or just to draw attention. I used to have difficulty communicating with peers in the housing society I used to play in. They found me "funny" and even inferior both intellectually and in sports, so they used to make fun of me in a disrespectful way.

Comorbidities

1Q) Please write in detail about what comorbidities have you faced?

I believe I have a problem in eye-hand coordination, which made it tough for me to be good at martial arts when I used to attend karate classes. I used to also have an issue with personal hygiene, which gave me a few minor health issues occasionally. I had an issue with my anger, which led to me requiring to take allopathic drugs.

2Q) What accommodations  or changes in the mindset of people around you, would help you thrive?

I have zero trust in allopathic drugs. My experience with consuming them has never been pleasant. I feel the medicines that not suppress but rather make the symptoms of autism disappear are illegal in India and many other countries. I don't want to mention those medicines as I don't want to get into any controversy. Not only are their positive sides hidden from general public but also is the research on those medicines kept unfunded or even forbidden.

Towards a better tomorrow

Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing environment at home.

The kind of people a person associates with, the media a person listens to, watches or reads and the food a person eats - These 3 things affect the person's psychology and personality over a period of time. And autistic people can be easily influenced, so please decide carefully which of these 3 things your autistic sons and/or daughters get access to.

No matter how noble your intentions are, please never try to dominate them, chastise them or try to interfere in their lives too much. Very likely they will end up losing respect for you. Please be detached to a certain extent.

This interview is a testimony of the power of perseverance and resilience! God bless you dear Viraj, may all your dreams come true!

If you are an adult speaking autistic from India and would like to share your journey and challenges and insights with our readers, please get in touch - parentingautismindia@gmail.com

Let's work together towards building a more neurodiverse friendly society.

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.