Hi friends, we are back with the sixth interview in the Empowering Voices series that has received a lot of love and appreciation. Today we meet Srikar CV. This young man is an avid reader. He shares his journey and lived experience with us. The poem that comes to mind when I think of Srikar is - Canvas of dreams by A Ikram.
Canvas Of Dreams
Took me years to fully grasp
I was born in a blank space
With each step, every stride, brushstrokes graced,
A masterpiece formed, my journey embraced.
The image is unclear
But the message was received
Since birth, I'm a canvas whisperer,
Documenting lives full of dreams, so serenely achieved.
In the blending colors of joy and sorrow,
I find my purpose for tomorrow,
With every stroke I paint my desires,
Embracing life, stoking inner fires.
Welcome to My World
1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.
Hello. I am Srikar CV. I am just over 17.5 years old. I live at Farm Hill Learning near Shoolagiri, Tamil Nadu. I live with my parents, sisters and six dogs, along with a few cats.
2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us. Also please share about how they help you relax, etc
I enjoy reading the most. I have a great interest in the fantasy genre, although I have recently embarked upon the path of history. I used to read encyclopedias for recreation. Reading in general helps me to disconnect from the world around me. This is critical when I need a break from responsibilities, people etc.
My other interests include doing my homework, which helps me feel good about completing a milestone in my education. This has helped me cultivate a positive attitude towards work, particularly as I am now studying for +1.
However, perhaps my favourite interest is Dungeons and Dragons. This is a fantasy roleplaying game, where the Dungeon Master(narrator) and a group of players get together and weave a thrilling fantasy story, based on the players’ actions in an imaginary world. This game has helped me build my imagination to a great extent, and provides me with a unique thrill to be found nowhere else.
3Q) How do you cope when you’re having a bad day?
When I’m having a bad day, I talk to my mother about it. With her, I discuss the best way to calm down and see that the rest of the day goes smoothly. Sometimes our discussions get heated, but overall we manage to find an equitable solution.
4Q) What are glimmers in your life? (Glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy - fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, peace, safety, or goodwill)
Glimmers in my life are whenever I do a piece of homework particularly well, or when there is an unexpected delicacy for lunch or dinner, or for dessert(eg. Milkshake, noodles, pizza). Also when I roast my friends or play a game with someone. My mother petting me affectionately is another glimmer.
5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic?
My parents told me I was autistic when I was 8.
Education and Workplace Experiences
1Q) What are your experiences in school/college… What challenges do you face?
My experiences in school have mostly been happy days spent talking to my friends and engaging in some activities with them. Passing my 10th grade exams left me feeling extremely happy. Granted, growing up has presented its challenges, but I have pulled through reasonably well. I have thankfully faced no challenge in my classes apart from delivering my homework, which I’ve always managed.
2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?
I additionally work part-time as a music teacher. The main challenge I face here is that of people learning slowly and tending to repeat their mistakes.
In the case of my homework, I simply allot time to complete whatever homework I have left, so that I can enjoy the rest of my time. In the past two months, however, I am happy to say that I have learned how to let go and have fun as well.
In the music classes that I teach, however, I frequently need help from others in managing my temper. Heated arguments have happened in this field in the past, which I fervently wish to avoid repeating.
No one else need make any accommodations in this field. It is I who need to improve my emotional regulation.
Sensory Challenges
1Q) Please share your sensory world with us
I have very sharp eyesight, even though I spend much time on screens. My sense of smell is just slightly below average. I frequently mishear what people are saying, however; I additionally tend to miss items that are in front of me, especially if they are small or hidden in an unlikely location.
2Q) How does it affect your daily life?
I often get teased for mishearing people, but this is something I can live with. I am striving to improve my listening skills to avoid mishearing people. As for missing items, that tends to increase the negative impact of me misplacing my items such as notebooks, pens etc.
No one else has to change. I have to change myself to improve my own lot in life with regards to this field.
Communication Challenges
1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions?
My communication style is not all that different from neurotypicals, save perhaps for an extra touch of eloquence. The result is that people are not at first convinced that I am indeed an autistic person. After years of training since my diagnosis till I was 8, I have adopted speech as my natural mode of communication with no difficulty. Stress tends to make me both illogical and incoherent, and it takes a while for me to reassert self-control.
2Q) How do you cope with this challenge?
It takes others a while to get through my incoherence and help me calm down. Once it happens, however, I am ready to engage logically. I am taking steps to make myself more logically receptive, particularly to feedback from others.
Relationships
1Q) What do you look for in your relationships? What challenges have you faced in your relationships?
In my friends, I look for someone who accepts me as I am, and who I can roast and get roasted by. This is something I currently enjoy to a great extent, and which I am grateful for. I also look for someone who shares my interests, particularly in Dungeons and Dragons (also called D&D for short). In my relationships, I have faced the challenges of me favouring others by mistake, separation and arguments.
2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?
In the case of separation, I have turned to online engagement where feasible. Whenever I have an argument with someone, I try my best to resolve it when feasible with both me and the other person. I used to favour a girl in my class over my best friend, but with the help of dialogue, I resolved never to do so again.
These are my problems, so I must change to solve them.
Bullying
I have thankfully never faced bullying ever in my school, hence the lack of answers to this set of questions. I hope never to face bullying in my life.
Masking
I am extremely thankful to providence that I have never, ever had to mask myself to look like a neurotypical. I sincerely hope never to have to do so. This is the reason for the lack of answers to this set of questions, since they do not apply to me.
Executive Functioning Challenges
1Q) What executive functioning challenges (adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self- control, working memory, time management, and organising) have you faced and how does it affect your life?
I have faced significant challenges in self-monitoring, adaptable thinking and working memory, and some challenges in planning.
2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?
When I can’t plan effectively on my own, I arrange a discussion with my parents in order to come up with a functioning plan. I do the same for all my other challenges regarding executive functioning.
Social Life
1Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life?
I have faced the challenges of making friends, rejection, frequent disputes and difficulty in adaptation.
2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?
Last month, I learned how to let go of people, which helped greatly with my rejection anxiety. I have found a solid group of friends now, so I no longer have friendship insecurity. I am taking help from people around me with regards to adaptation and avoiding disputes.
Comorbidities
1Q) Please write in detail about what comorbidities have you faced?
I have faced frequent anxiety in my teenage years, which has often led to heated arguments, tantrums and high-level aggression. I have been taking a medication known as Fludac since February 2024, which has reduced my stress levels by a marked degree.
2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?
Apart from Fludac, I am taking active steps to make myself more mature as a person.
Towards a better tomorrow
1Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing environment at home..
I suggest that parents actually take the trouble to start actively listening to autistic people, particularly their autistic children if they have any. This is an important step towards creating a nurturing environment at home. Further, parents need to actively engage in dialogues with their children in such a way that parents and children both get to understand each other's feelings, each other as people etc.
2Q) Please share your message to therapists on how they can include neurodiversity affirming practices in their approach..
Therapists must first set aside all expectations of great progress or giant milestones when working with an autistic person. Only then can any meaningful progress be made. Next comes a positive attitude towards the nature of the work, which helps the therapist and autistic person to discover each other. From this base of human, thoughtful interaction can come profound discoveries on part of the therapist and great improvements on part of the autistic person.
3Q) Please share your thoughts on how we can work towards an inclusive and neurodiversity friendly society..
Every person can and must educate themselves on what neurodiversity means and its various manifestations, even if they do not already know or live near an autistic person. After this, they must reach out to others who are either autistic or work with autistics, in order to form bonds with those people. Through this, understanding will be gained on the challenges that come with neurodiversity and how to resolve those challenges. If this approach is tried everywhere, society can gain insights that will allow people to be more accepting of the neurodiverse population.
I interviewed Srikar a few years back and getting to know the fine young man again is a golden opportunity for me. I hope you it was wonderful experience for you too. God bless you dear Srikar, may all your dreams come true!
If you are an adult speaking autistic from India and would like to share your journey and challenges and insights with our readers, please get in touch - parentingautismindia@gmail.com
Let's work together towards building a more neurodiverse friendly society.
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.
