Empowering Voices - Meet Aditya Gaur

                                

         Dear reader, in our quest to know the in depth lived experiences of the Indian speaking autistics through the Empowering Voices series of interviews, today we meet Aditya Gaur. During our conversation, I met an enthusiastic man who yearns for friendship. This is my wish for him. What better way to convey it, than through this beautiful poem - A Song By Lucrieta Maria Davidson

Life is but a troubled ocean,
Hope a meteor, love a flower
Which blossoms in the morning beam,
And whithers with the evening hour.
Ambition is a dizzy height,
And glory, but a lightning gleam;
Fame is a bubble, dazzling bright,
Which fairest shines in fortune’s beam.
When clouds and darkness veil the skies,
And sorrow’s blast blows loud and chill,
Friendship shall like a rainbow rise,
And softly whisper—peace, be still.

                    Welcome to My World

1Q) Please introduce yourselves to our readers.

Aditya Gaur is my name. I’ m from Bangalore I m getting activities on laptop for online program Akshadhaa

2Q) Please share your hobbies and interests/passions with us. Also please share about how they help you relax

I watch song on television on my youtube, listening songs also on my youtube most of the time, playing ludo game at my home and I watch movies also and playing cricket.

I feel comfortable and relaxed while listening music on tv playing ludo game and seeing movies. These things make me more relaxed and much comfortable and I cool myself and no tension then with me.

3Q) How do you cope when you’re having a bad day ?

When I start relaxing closing my both eyes in my bedroom after I m tired when and I start thinking about sorting out my all personal problems whatever my mother had said wrong and nani said wrong then I start deciding to give them reply they need to be answerable for this.

Whoever does I decide such things.

4Q) What are glimmers in your life? ( Glimmers are fleeting, everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness, gratitude, calm, safety, or goodwill)

When I had gone to Ooty earlier for vacation I had performed in rain dance there and it made me happy proud and then went for water ride also that made me too proud. 

I went to water slides this makes me enjoy and have fun too. When I journey in train sometimes for any city, any trip it makes me much enjoy have full fun and keep my mind calm and when I go in flight for whichever place, city I enjoy flying also in air.

5Q) When did you realise that you are autistic? 

I realised all that when I was sixteen years old. I felt strange when I didn’t get to know about this before I got to know I’ m autistic. I felt that I’ m seriously autistic after my mom and granny got feedback about me that I'm autistic. All people also somehow got to know that and I felt really shocked and couldn’t bear it.

                 Education and Workplace Experiences

1Q) What are your experiences in school/college... What challenges do you face? If you’re working, please include your workplace experiences too..

My experience in school was I was accepted I was pleasant also.

In SAP LABS I had worked as software tester earlier. In SAP my experience was unpleasant and couldn’t bear it. I was held by my hand by one of the staffs and taken out to the gate who instructed security guard not let me in office and one more reason, Michelle's instruction to me Aditya come here. She called me near her desk where her computer was hung in front of her I had to then go to Michelle as she had to assign me some work so I asked Michelle - what work do have with me tell me you called me Michelle and then suddenly her behaviour became rudely and she instructed Anil (sap trainer), for no reason, Anil pls ask him to go to his desk. This was so badly told by Michelle simply which I don’t like .

2Q) How do you cope with this challenge?

I thought of giving feedback to Avaneesh Dubey about Michelle's rude behaviour.

3Q) What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive in this scenario? 

I expect these people, whoever around me, to be understanding, polite and sensitive to my issues if I ask politely.

            Sensory Challenges

1Q) Please share your sensory world with us. 

When I get good aroma I get drawn towards the kitchen. When I’ m hungry I go to kitchen to look for food. When I feel urgency to attend to nature's call I visit the toilet. The videos of moving trains and vehicles fascinates me.

2Q) How does it affect your daily life?

I do not have sensory issues so my daily life does not get affected.

           Communication Challenges

1Q) How different is your communication style from the Neurotypicals and how does it affect your daily interactions? 

I am very loud when I talk and repeat my words and sentences too much. This irritated others and they avoid me. This gives me more stress and I go behind the person talking more loudly and repeating myself till I am convinced that the other person has agreed with me.

2Q) How do you cope with this challenge?

By talking to myself and convincing myself that I am right and the other person is wicked and insulting.

3Q) What accommodations would help you thrive?

Accepting what I am trying to say and politely telling me if I am wrong. Give me reasons to convince me if I am wrong.

                  Relationships

1Q) What do you look for in your relationships with  friends/family/colleagues/partners What challenges have you faced in your relationships?

 I have always been objected by everyone unnecessarily. When I ask politely people respond rudely saying, not now let’s talk later. You repeat the same matter over and over again, it is so annoying. I want people to understand me, talk to me like everyone else, allow me to join conversation .

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

 I go to my room and do self talking, abusing people and also shout and scream.

3Q) What accommodations or changes in the mind set of people around you would help you thrive?

 If people can listen to me that would be helpful.

               Bullying

1Q) Have you faced bullying in school/college/workplace? Please share a few details..

Yes I have faced bullying in ARC, my school, not college. In my workplace also I have faced bullying. In my Pragati center I have faced bullying by some of staffs unnecessarily and one student who also has autism, he is also a grown up person like me, by him I faced bullying.

Some people have done to me that earlier, I don’t appreciate such irrelevant behaviours anywhere at all, simply not fair.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

 I get abusive and shout at them.

           Masking

1Q) Have you ever had to mask to look neurotypical? Please share your experiences.. 

Yes when I go to public places I am reminded by my mother to behave.

2Q) What challenges have you faced due to masking?

 It causes lot of stress and tension.

3Q) When did you decide to unmask and how was the experience?

 When someone irritates me I don’t care about being in public place I just give back properly.

           Executive Functioning Challenges

1Q) What executive functioning challenges ( adaptable thinking, planning, self-monitoring, self-control, working memory, time management, and organising) have you faced and how does it affect your life?

I have participated in nature camps and trekking, without my mother and I enjoyed very much. There were no issues with adjustment, time management, packing my own stuff, overnight travel all by myself it was all fun.

2Q) What accommodations ( physical or changes in the mindset of people around you) would help you thrive?

 Need my space and want people to accept what I want to do and how I want to do. No corrections.

               Social life

1Q) What challenges have you faced in your social life?

I tend to repeat myself that irritates people and I talk loudly which no-one likes.

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

 I apologise and try to control my repetitions and loud talking .

              Comorbidities

1Q) Please write about what comorbidities have you faced? 

 I have anxiety disorder .

2Q) How do you cope with these challenges?

 By repeatedly seeking assurance from close person.

          Towards a better tomorrow

Q) Please share your message to parents of autistic children in how they can create a nurturing environment at home..

 By allowing us to be ourselves. Accepting with out correcting.

  This interview is a testimony of the power of perseverance! Thank you for sharing your journey with us. God bless you dear Aditya, may all your dreams come true!

If you are an adult speaking autistic from India and would like to share your journey and challenges and insights with our readers, please get in touch - parentingautismindia@gmail.com

Let's work together towards building a more neurodiverse friendly society.

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.