Saturday, April 13, 2024

Talking Fingers - Meet Saran Kumar

   Hi friends, thank you for reaching out and sharing how our co-author families are inspiring you. Carrying forward our series, let meet Saran Kumar's family and chat with his mom, Ambiga and his elder brother, Kiran Kumar.


                                  



Q) Please share your autism journey with our readers..

When i first heard about saran is with autism, the first question in my mind is "why"?
Then I asked the professionals, what will be the outcome, what is the prognosis.
From day one I wanted to go through this journey with saran, in spite of so many disputes, argument, heated words from near and dears.
I even talked about separation from my husband, to journey with saran.
I came to Chennai, wanted to understand more about Saran, took up diploma in special education in Clarke school, Mylapore.
Along with saran everyday I travelled 30 kms by bus to attend the course.
After a year saran's dad arranged a car for pickup and drop. I finished the course, and learnt about autism through a difficult journey.
One thing I decided I'll help my Saran to live on this society in spite of so many hurdles, because " Autism is not a disease, it's a condition. Communication and social interaction are the hurdles"
YES I'LL LIVE FOR SARAN.


Q) How did you develop communication skill in Saran?

Since verbal mode is a minimal chance, I decided to work on other modes of communication
I learnt that "Saran's lot of behavior issues is because of his communication issues.
First I started to observe him and noted down, why, when, how, what the behavior occurs.
What is the consequence
What all positive part of him
What all his negatives
Then I planned a schedule for his day to day activities, charts, timetable..
My elder son helped me a lot as he is a very good artist.
Started with picture communication
When his tantrums came down, slowly introduced word exchange communication
Then typing only "yes" "no" for simple questions
Reading with him whether he concentrates or not simple books.
Always on the working mode as special educator and not a mom.
Slowly he started typing simple one line answers, and he developed as such
Our schedule is very formal till he goes to bed.
My communication will be two way with him I'll ask questions, I'll answer for it.
Sometimes he will laugh endlessly,..
Saran is my son, that's all I knew. 

Q) What hurdles have you faced in this journey, how did you overcome it...

Hurdles are my road and path everyday.
Saran behavior in public places created a scene.
In family functions we were pointed out.
My husband has been posted outstation often.
Our outings became a nightmare for his brother and dad.
No one is happy when we were around, because Saran is crying, screaming, scratching and biting.
Some of our outing were, I and saran  have separate table when we go out for dinner with family
Stopped wearing sarees as it will be pulled out in public by saran
My mom, brother, his wife, kiran are my soulmates for few years till Saran was thirteen.
Every time I'll speak to my husband about Saran, how to handle him, understand and accept him.
On his thirteenth birthday Saran called "appa" on that moment.
My very big support is my husband.
I did my B-ed, became principal, worked for 15 years.
But my everyday scheduled is same from younger years.
First priority for everyday life skills.
Then communication through typing.
Then everyday outing to different public places
Learnt baking along with him.
Never turned back to "why me"
Only "how to"

Q) Please share your advice to other parents.

My advice as a mom "our son/daughter came from us.
We have to accept, understand, help, and love unconditionally.
If you show all the three, sure they'll respond back immensely and I believe they are God's children.
They are pure, true, and clean.
Mother is the first teacher and the best teacher.
We mother can transform our children lives 👍🏻



Now, let's chat with the star of he interview - Saran



                               


1.How old are you?

I am quarter of 27.

2.Please tell us about your cafe?

The cafe blend and bite is a dream come true for my mom. She wants me to
be part of this society. It was designed by my anna(elder brother) and materialised by appa(dad)

3.How is experience of running the cafe? What are your duties there?

I am the owner as well the worker. I open the shutter my work is to arrange
the four chairs outside the table and benches inside, fill water cans and
arrange the work place, bring all needed utilities from cooler, clean up the jars with cloth as it will be dust free, cover the dust bin. I will attend the customers.

4.Please tell about your hobbies. What inspires to write.

My hobbies baking cooking. My voice is my writing.

5. How do you spend your day?

In the shop, at home with mummy helping baking, rest after lunch in the
shop, then back home. Enjoy my travel by car to my home.

6.Do you enjoy going on vacations? Please tell us about your recent or
favourite vacation.

I enjoy long drive in car ,to my chithi place. Recently to food expo dinning in
restaurant.

7.what is your preferred mode of communication - writing/typing. 

My mummy taught me typing.

8. How was the experience of being a co-author in Talking Fingers book?

Being a part, very proud moment my congrats to each one involved. I loved reading the book.

9.Your thoughts on how communication is more important than speech.

Communication is important irrelevant of speech but that mode is baseline.


The interview would be incomplete without getting to know Saran's elder brother - Kiran Kumar



                                    


  1. Please tell us a little bit about yourself, and do share your hobbies.

I am Kiran Kumar, four years elder to Saran Kumar. I am a post graduate in construction management and am currently running a FMCG distribution network named Arcane Foods. We deal in distribution of cooking oils and food products. I am married to Priyanka who works as a software consultant in a private IT firm.

My hobbies are drawing, painting, cooking and playing badminton


  1. How was the experience of growing up with saran, please share your thoughts.

Like every brother relationship! I didn’t see any difference as I was made aware of Saran’s way of approach to things by my parents at the beginning of ages. To take care of Saran, my mother made me self-dependent on day-to-day basis. I think it made me a lot focused and it’s a good thing that one is self-reliant on life these days. 

To be exact, my experience with Saran always included my mother as we three were always in the picture, whenever there was a situation. Every person has their own way of expressing their emotions in different ways. Saran has his own way. That is how I see him and I don’t care about others and how they perceive him.

  1. Please share your advice for other siblings..

Accept them. Yes, they make mistakes, they make you less important, they make you angry. But it's not their intention, it's their way of showing their love towards you. We have a whole big world to explore, but we (you and your parents) are their world. Don’t reject them. Accept them of however they are, because they accepted us without giving a second thought.


With the love and support of such a loving family, I am happy that Saran is on his way to leading an independent life as it's a dream come true! To meet 16 such awesome self-advocates and read their thoughts, please buy our book. It's available in all Amazon stores worldwide HERE