Dear reader, let's continue our journey of getting to know the authors of the book - Talking Fingers. Today, let's meet Tarun Verma. Let's start by chatting with his mom - Divya Shikha Verma
1. Would you like to share your Autism journey with
us, with a special focus on developing communication skills in Tarun.
Yes, I would be more than happy to share our Autism journey.
Hi, I am Divya Shikha Verma, mother of Tarun Verma, 24 years old handsome,
Autistic young man, who loves to help other people. Tarun does not speak
like us but thinks much more than what people perceive about him.
Tarun, our first child was an extremely adorable, very active and
intelligent toddler who would often surprise us by his skills of learning new
things which were motivating to him, very fast.
We were equally puzzled by him not engaging with the other person who would
not put much effort to do the things he liked. Also, when Tarun did not start
speaking and communicating like his peers our concerns started building up and
so me and my husband Anupam began our hunt for his treatment so that he
starts listening and communicating like other children. And, then we landed up
with the word ‘Autism’, which was totally new for us. Tarun having Autism, did
not bother us much that time as we thought he will get treatment and will be
okay. But when we were told by the professionals that he is disabled and will
not lead an independent life like other typical people do, we were in total
doom and all our dreams got shattered. We were in the same state as any other
parent who goes through the phase when their offspring gets newly diagnosed.
In the hope that Tarun will perhaps learn and develop after
being with other children we tried putting him in two different play
schools where he was denied admission because they found him hyperactive and could
not engage and manage him. In the meantime we desperately searched
for other remedies which can cure him and make him like the rest of the
children and we also tried a few but those did not make any difference. When
Tarun was three years old we got him admitted to a special school where he
learned to write and colour but nothing could be done for his language and
communication skills. We were totally clueless about how he would listen to us
and communicate with us. Then I got to know about the Mother Child
Training Programme of Action For Autism while I was attending a workshop. We
immediately got enrolled for that programme, that time Tarun was around 7 years
old. We got to learn about Autism and the way to support and help
Tarun in learning. This programme also helped us to bring ourselves out of
the thought of 'why me' and 'why this happened to my son Tarun'. We
slowly started accepting Tarun's Autism though it took time.
Tarun has been a
quick learner from the beginning and during that programme he quickly learnt
the intent of communication and started communicating using signs, just very
fast. His vocabulary and communication increased like anything. After that he
got admission in Action for Autism’s Open Door School. Tarun carried on
his communication by only the mode of sign till his therapist suggested he
go for speech therapy by the time he was about 11 years old. There he learned
to bring out sounds and speak some of the functional words which he still uses.
He has difficulty in bringing out and blending some of the sounds correctly. We
try to understand those words of him which are not very clear. Tarun also
communicates by writing and typing words and using pictures from the books and
from the environment. Two years back he got the Avaz communication app on his
tablet which he also uses. Tarun uses multiple modes of communication to
express himself as much as possible. We feel that he still constantly
struggles to express his thoughts properly and has lots
of amazing things in his brain which he really wants to
bring out. So our communication journey is still going on.
After graduating from AFA’s Open Door school at the
age of 18, Tarun got placement as an intern in Aadhaar Vocational Center at
AFA. Now he works there and is an integral part of the production team, making
a range of handicrafts, weaving clothes on loom, packaging spices, designing
and making jewelries and serving and helping each other in the
organization.
Tarun learned to use a computer on his own when he
was just 3 years old. He enjoyed working on computers from the beginning only.
Tarun did an 18 months Multimedia Program by AIMS Media in 2019, where he
learned to use Photoshop software apart from learning other skills. He
uses Photoshop to create beautiful posters, do cropping work and make nice
invites and visiting cards.
Tarun loves playing online games, solving very
complex and minute jigsaw puzzles, watching YouTube cookery shows, glancing
through his books or swaying and enjoying the old Bollywood and pop songs
during his leisure time.
Tarun is a very organized person, he likes to
follow the rules and does not want to go out of the way. He keeps himself happy
by enjoying the things he likes. He is a very helpful and very generous person
who is always happy giving away his stuff to others.
Tarun’s greatest reward is
getting appreciation and recognition from his people for the work he does.
He always aspires to get success in doing the assigned job and be praised for
that. When people find faults in him and talk negatively about him, he feels
really bad.
Tarun wants to do all the things and live his life
in the same way as other people do. He wants to interact with others in his
surroundings through his own way which other people need to understand without
undermining him. We are blessed to have a very understanding family, extended
family and relatives who always love and respect Tarun unconditionally.
Being praised gives Tarun real happiness and brings twinkles to his eyes. We wish for Tarun that those twinkles in his eyes are more often there and he remain always happy!. Also, we want that the people around Tarun understand him and he gets included in the society by having a valued role which he is entitled for and interested in.
2. Your advice to other Autism parents
-
Enjoy your child, play, talk, spend time with him/her and give him/her the
autonomy in the same way as would have done if the term Autism had not been
associated with him/her. Having a diagnosis of Autism does not mean that he/she
be treated and presented in a different way.
-
Try to focus mainly on all the strengths and advantages the child has got
rather than worrying about the challenges and difficulties he has. By this I
never mean that don’t work on the skills he needs to acquire to live his life
smoothly among neurotypical people in this world.
- It
is crucial to explore and use some mode of communication/ AAC which is
convenient for your child to learn and use, as early as possible. For those who
could not have done this, if they start it from today, it’s never late. This is
the basic need of the child and is the root of
the process in overcoming most of the challenges which you and your
child face.
-
Try not to compare your child with other children. Every child is unique whether
autistic or neurotypical. The way you treat and look at your child would be the
mirror for others and the child would be treated in the same way by the rest of
the world. In this journey please try to ignore if other people do not talk or
look at you and your child the way you expect. This is absolutely essential for
a healthy growth of you and your child.
- We
parents need to keep learning about Autism and try to explain it to the people
around whenever we get the opportunity. You need to be the strongest advocate
of your child and slowly teach the child be his own advocate.
-
Take care of your mental and physical health and happiness first. Only a happy
and healthy parent can help and stand for his/her child to bloom to the
fullest!
.
Hi Saumya, please share your experience of growing up with
Tarun and your advice to other Autism siblings.
I am Saumya Verma and my brother is Tarun Verma. If I am asked to describe my 22 years of life till now with Bhaiya in one word, it'll be wholesome.
When I was young, around 5 years old I started
understanding that Bhaiya is not like me and my other friends. He is differemt
and he went to a special school unlike all of us. He didn't talk much and use
to scream and run around the house a lot. I got to know about autism more and
more. But knowing about it wasn't enough since it took quite some time to
accept that he was different and will always be different. For an 8 years
old it was hard to accept that out of everyone her brother was different. I
never had any stories to tell like my friends had involving their siblings. I
never understood why it was okay for him to throw tantrums and I was scolded
when I did the same or why my parents were extra receptive towards his needs. I
remember the time when I was so against the idea of my brother coming along my
parents to PTM in school. People used to laugh at his behavior. Behavior which
he had no control over. People used to ask “what’s wrong with him?" and I
used to reply “Nothing, he's like that." I didn't understand the weird
looks or snarky remarks my family used to get every time we were out in a
restaurant or theater but I knew I had to protect him even if I was the younger
sibling.
As I grew up I understood how naive I was. I accepted his autism and found new ways to bond with him over games, music and food. He is one best people in my life and actually someone I am so proud of.
Every day is a struggle for him but it amazes me how he is so strong and overcomes all of it. His love is unconditional and sincere. He has taught me things which no book or no one could ever teach me. I am so grateful that he has shaped my life in such beautiful way unknowingly and made me more mature than others of my age.
When people tell I have a special brother I reply back that he really is "special" and I wouldn't have it any other way.
My advice
to other autism siblings is that try to learn about autism and accept it in the
best way possible. Acceptance has to start with you. Create a bond with your
sibling. And on always be proud to have such a special sibling.
Now, let's meet the star of the interview - Tarun
1. How old are you and where do you live?
I am 24 years old. I live in Noida.
2. Where do you intern? Please share a few details
about it, like what do you work on and your responsibilities at work.
I am an intern at Aadhaar Vocational Center of
AFA.I do stitching and beading to make handicraft items and packaging and
labeling the products. I also make posters and greetings using Photoshop
software for AFA when AFA needs them.
3.You recently completed a course on photoshop, do tell us about that and what do you like to create with it.
Yes, I like to work on Photoshop. I create posters for different occasions, do cropping work and make invites and visiting cards.
I have also made posters to show what I with my Autism like and what I with my Autism do not like.
4. What type of music do you like, Tarun?
I like Bollywood songs which have
beats - 'Dil chahta hai', pop songs - Ketchup song, Sunny by Boney M. Bhajans like 'Namo Namo Shankara' and patriotic songs like 'Suno
gaur se duniya walo', 'Sandeshe aate hain' are my favourite.
5. Please share a few details about your hobby of watching cookery shows. Do
you like cooking? What are your favourite dishes?
I like watching recipe of dishes made by chicken, mutton and fish on YouTube. I like rice, dosa, papad, sandwich, chila, biryani, Domino's pizza and
KFC chicken. I try to cook Maggi Pasta for myself, roast papad and make salad
for the family.
My other hobbies are books, colouring, swimming, outing and watching ASMR videos.
6. You also love solving puzzles, please share a few details with us
Yes,
I like them so much that I spend long hours to solve big jigsaw puzzles of 300
to 400 very small pieces both on the screen and the physical ones
7. Do you enjoy travelling? What was your favourite vacation? Where did you go
for your recent vacation?
Yes, I like travelling a lot. Recently I went to
Amritsar with my family. I liked the parade of BSF at Bagha Atari near India
Pakistan border the most, I still like to watch the video of that on my
computer.
8. You also enjoy playing video games, what are your favourite games?
My favorite games are candy crush, colour
switch, colour by numbers.
9. Would you like to share your future plans
with us?
I would like to work at a place where people
understand and value me. I would also want to travel to new places
and have fun with my family.
10. How was the experience of writing for the book
- Talking Fingers?
I was very happy that now people will know about
what I think and how I Feel.
To know more about Tarun's thoughts on Autism and inclusion and meet sixteen non-speaking amazing gems, please buy our book. It is available on Amazon
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.
