The fourth interview in the Talking Fingers series features twenty year old Neerada. She writes poetry and as you will read her poems ( shared throughout this interview), you will realize, she is a gentle soul with deep understanding of human spirit. She writes about current affairs and many topics close to her heart. She shatters myths about Autism, such as lack of empathy. Read on and discover another wonderful person on the spectrum!
Let’s start by chatting with Neerada’s mom, Mini.
Q) Tell us about your Autism journey so far.
I am Mini, a home maker and my husband is Saseendran, a chartered accountant. We have two children, Navaneeth Krishnan, my son and Neerada my daughter, who is 20 year old Autistic. Our journey with autism started from June 2004. Journey with autism taught us so much in life.
We were shocked when doctor diagnosed as PDD and found it very difficult to accept our plight . We worked very hard in the initial years with the help of some great therapists.
Once I was confirmed that she can read I stopped asking her what is this? what is that? like that as I felt it is insulting her personality. When Neerada was 10, read an article about spelling contest where the winner spelled the word ‘ Psymotrichous’. Neerada was not with me then. Later, I asked her ‘Do you know
the meaning?’, she wrote ‘ My mother’s hair is psymotrichous’ ( means wavy hair).
I was stunned! I started asking her something and giving multiple choice answers . She will circle the answers. She listens to everything, even the news channels . She is highly sensitive to sensory issues so she often yells at home. My son encouraged her to type in his laptop. She started answering yes/no like that. After some days she started sentences then poems . She started writing about family, nature, current affairs, etc. Everyday we used to chat with her. When she is sick she can describe what is wrong with her, she chats with her close ones when they visit our home.
She has a very close friend Sherin, autistic girl from Kochi, with whom she communicates through WhatsApp. Doctors say our kids have no feelings, Neerada can't sleep the night before her brother’s exam results are published. Our children have feelings, empathy, sympathy, everything, but they have difficulty in coordinating the inner feelings and facial expression or reaction, so they are
treated as kids with no feelings, that is what I feel. Neerada is 20 now, we have to work a lot on her self reliance and tantrums. But I feel relief she can do many of her affairs without help. She can communicate all basic needs verbally too. We use fingers as option too , thumb for yes and little finger for no , as we cant take iPad everywhere. I felt it as a good option.
I thank all the therapists teachers my friends my siblings who gave me courage when I was struggling and even strangers who shared at least a good smile to my daughter.
Q) How did you encourage Neerada’s talent in poetry?
When Neerada was diagnosed as autistic I started buying lots and lots of books . I showed her pictures, told stories, at the end asked different question and she pointed answers. In that way I taught her feelings too . Then started buying novels. Earlier I used to read the full book, but now she reads very fast I sit by her side while reading. If the book is not interesting she will just stop with one or
two pages . We read newspaper together and she listens to news channels, National geographic, Animal planet etc. She is highly auditory so she can listen to TV when she is in another room . While we travel together her brother talks of lot of different subjects to her.
When we do our daily chatting Neerada says I have some good lines or I have a poem like that. Some times I ask her whether you have any poem, then also she writes. She spends lot of time in bed and says she is thinking. She will not do any corrections, keeps the full poem ready in mind and then writes it down. If the poem is too long she will finish it the next day. we have published her two books ( Tender Tweets and Dew Drops) through Autism club, Calicut. Lot of poems are yet to be published. We are waiting for a good publisher. .
Freedom is a dream fulfilled
For the fighters and common men
Who were in the British rule
Extremely happy for the free India
But we need freedom from terrorism
Which is a great threat for our republic
We need freedom from poverty
Which of course is there after 75 years
We need high esteem as human being
We need kind leaders who are self made
Who make our country hold its head high
Who make our flags flutter
In our homes and hearts
Long live our country
Jai Hind
Q) Your advice for other Autism parents.
I am not in a position to advise others. Still I wish to tell my fellow parents , never speak negative about our children and never let others harm their esteem. Even when you go to doctors take a note about your child’s problems . We have to advocate for our children . We must find a mode of communication for our children to express their needs, PECS or fingers or computer or writing or anything. Fathers and siblings have an equally good role in bringing up an autistic kid. Mothers should have freedom in family . Autistic children love peace and harmony at home. So parents must try their maximum never to spoil their happiness . Respect our children.
Hope's the little bird
Kindle my mood
Chirped the cuckoo
Kindle my mind
Mooed the cow
Kindle my hopes
Hissed the cobra
Kindle my tweets
Yawned the parrot
Kindle my dance
Urged the peacock
Kindle my poems
Dreamt me
Believe me
God is confused
But he listened to all
Now, let’s chat with Neerada
Q) When did you start writing poetry?
I absolutely don't know. but I think in my dreams I have been writing poems since my early childhood . But I could write down only recently.
Neerada’s Poem On PATHANKOT ATTACK
Much to do you have
Good things for the country
Good things for the family
But the militants stopped
Really I feel jawans
High in patriotism
More than civilians
And showy politicians
Hope god will
Take care of their dreams
Q) Tell us about your schooling.
Many schools, some schools the entire system of schooling just harrassing. Tried many . Most loved is Ria at Bahrain . Attended a camp, start right is also good I felt . For me best school is home, my family teaches lot of things . Etta (elder brother) talks about great things while travelling . I love family .
Q) What are your hobbies, Neerada?
Fantasies, dreaming, riding in car, day dreaming, watching leaves fluttering in air, yearning for good goings in family , imagining poems.
Q) How do you spend your day?
I deliberately lie down with a shawl and inside the dream tent I go to the world of fantasies. I do help amma in simple households. I help cooking, cleaning, washing, closing gate, serving etc.
Q) I hear you are a fan of our PM, Mr. Modi, would you like to tell us why?
He is highly charismatic. He is a good speaker, people listen to him spell bound. Really no negative campaigning weakens him. Me and my etta (brother) great fans
of dear pm.
Neerada’s Poem ON PRIME MINISTER MR. MODI
Just get ready to good Indian years
On the leadership of Modi
He is powerful ambitious
And extremely dreamful
For digital India
For make in India
For friendly India
And for a clean India
Let our country flourish
Q) You are also interested in current affairs, how do follow them, newspaper or tv? A few details please.
TV and highly my brothers talks in car
I like just news, no serials
I read newspapers with amma, yes I am following news channels, animal planet.
Q) Would you like to share your future plans with us?
To become self reliant and purple girl
Q) Any parting thoughts ...
I owe my success to my amma who leads me happily to every thing. She is simply an avatar of goddess Parvathy. I can't miss her in my life.
I love mothers of all races
Kindness is the essence of motherhood
Smartness is the trade mark of mothers
Yes, they are like humming birds
Anchoring on air and watching flowers
For their beauty and honey
They are like tigers
Lying on meadows
And monitoring cubs playing
They are like hornbills
Encaged themselves
For protecting their chicks
They are like Goddess Parvathy
Fighting for young Ganapathi
With the mighty Shiva
Yes,mothers win hearts of everyone
Yes,mothers reach hearts of everyone
Q) Would you like to share your experience of writing for the book - Talking Fingers
I liked the idea of this fantastic book...Amma said it will be helpful for others. Yes I tried my best for truthful felicitation of my family and I felt it was my duty for them. I was highly going emotional and weeping inside for some reasons and I am happy for many other reasons.
A brief chat with Neerada’s brother, Navaneeth
A brief chat with Neerada’s brother, Navaneeth
Q) Would you like to share a few experiences of growing up with Neerada?
It was not always pleasant like it is now, but I guess that is all part of it. But all that is in the past and it doesn’t matter one bit. I know how much she loves me and that is all that matters.
Q) How do you two like to spend time together?
We do random things but mostly, it is me taking her for a drive around town in the evenings, playing her favourite songs. when our father was abroad I used to take her for walking. it was with me and mother she started her first communications.
Q) Any suggestions for other Autism siblings?
None. I have no suggestions that might really be of any help. I just know my sister and take care of her. I really can’t make suggestions to others, and I don’t think anyone would take them anyway.
With unconditional love and support from her family, Neerada has come a long way and I hope and pray that all her dreams may come true!
I hope you liked reading this interview. Sixteen such amazing non-speaking autistics share their thoughts and insights in our book - Talking Fingers. You can purchase the book on Amazon India
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed by the guest in this interview are their own independent opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host and owner of the blog. Readers are advised to exercise their own discretion and seek professional advice where necessary.